Dream A Little Dream
by chibihakkai
Summary: Dean is having nightmares, and the line between dream and reality is starting to blur. Badly. Sam/Dean Wincest You have been warned!
1. Chapter 1

_Sweat. Blood. Oh God… So much blood. And he didn't even know if it was all his. Knew some of it was. The gaping hole in his side confirmed it. But not all. Some was the victim's. Some the vamps'. And some was Dad's. Thank God they hadn't brought Sammy on this one. Thank God Dad had deemed it too dangerous._

_Sammy._

_That's right. Had to get back. Back to Sammy. Make sure he was okay. Had to get Dad back too, so Sammy could patch them up. Again. Had to focus. Had to get back._

_The ride back was a montage of street signs and stoplights fading in and out of his sepia-tinted vision. Finally, he pulled into the lot right in front of their door. He managed to get Dad to stand enough to get him to the door, then the bed once Sam let them in. _

_Sam pulled Bitchface #4- the worried, yet resigned bitchface. Dean stumbled to the bathroom to start washing the blood off while Sam stitched up Dad. _

_He got most of the blood off- at least all of it that wasn't coming out fresh. Dean, now shirtless, stumbled back into the main room, almost making it to the bed that didn't hold his father. But almost didn't cut it, and he soon found himself facedown in the carpet. _

_His muzzy brain registered his baby brother shaking him and calling his name. "Dean? … Dean! C'mon, man.-_

"Dean!"

Dean shot awake at the terrified tone of his brother's voice. He sat up and realized he was sweating, his a-shirt sticking to him. He looked around briefly before realizing he was safe at home in bed.

"You okay? You were kicking pretty badly." Sam came back into sight, his face showing nothing but concern. He helped Dean pull off the shirt when he fumbled with it.

"Yeah, baby boy, I'm fine. I just had a nightmare." Dean lay back down, one arm over his eyes, the other flung out to the side. Sam cuddled up, resting his head on Dean instead of his pillow.

"Was it the crashing plane again?" Sam broke off with a yawn as he nuzzled his face into Dean's chest. Dean wrapped his arm around his lover's shoulders and squeezed, deciding not to worry him.

"Yeah. Hate those things." He threw a shudder in for good measure. "I still don't see why we can't just _drive _down to see Dad and Bobby on holidays…"

"It takes too long. You know that." Sam tilted his head up, smiling sleepily. "We never know how long they're actually going to be at the house, so we have to go when they tell us. Otherwise, we'd never see them!"

Dean gave in and gently pushed his lips against Sam's. They were soft and warm against his. "I know, baby boy. I just wish I didn't know what we know. Damn demons."

"It'll be okay. And we don't have any trips planned for a while anyway. Get some sleep. We both have to be up in…" Sam leaned up to look at the clock. "Four hours."

Dean chuckled as Sam flopped his shaggy head back down, the long hair tickling his bare chest. He smoothed the stray hairs and kissed his Sammy's head. "Okay. I love you."

"G'night. I love you too."

"_C'mon, Dean! You look great! Now get out there before she realizes what a mistake she's making!" Sam stood in the doorway, watching Dean straighten the boutonnière on his tux. _

"_Shut it, bitch. I need to look perfect tonight. The girl I'm working on isn't gonna go for anything less." Flower straight, he began working on the tie. A few fumbles and one hopeless look later, Sam was across the room, tying the tie effortlessly. _

"_If she thinks anyone is perfect, she's nuts. No one is." Sam tightened the knot and smiled up. "But if anyone is close, it's a Winchester."_

_The boys snorted and rolled their eyes. When Sam had yet to remove his hands from the tie, Dean looked down. "Sammy?"_

_Sam refused to look up- just stared at the tie in his hands. "Good luck tonight. I know you actually like this one. Just… be careful. Don't get attached to someone right before we have to move."_

"_Funny. That's usually my line."_

"_M'serious, Dean." Sam looked up. "Please?"_

_Dean leaned his forehead against Sam's. "I'll be careful, baby boy."_

_Sam smiled at the nickname and stepped back, satisfied with the answer. Dean pulled on his jacket and buttoned it up, smiling. "Besides, no chick can hold down __**this **__man!"_

_Sam chuckled as Dean stepped out of the small house they've rented for the past three months. He listened as the familiar purr of the Impala pulled away and tried to ignore the pain in his chest._

Dean woke up slowly this time, an ache in his heart he didn't like. A warm arm was draped across his middle, and it tightened at his squirming. Sammy was breathing across the back of his neck, and he managed to give a sleepy kiss to the nape.

"Go back to sleep, De."

Dean followed his command in no time.

_Sam was barely awake when Dean came home. The latch opened at around 2 am, and Dean stormed in, face a blank slate, but Sam could read anger in his eyes. And humiliation. Sam was across the room before the door was fully closed. _

"_What's wrong?"_

"_Nothing, Sam. Go to bed." Dean pushed past him to go upstairs, but Sam has never been one to give up when it involves his big brother. He followed him and sat quietly on the bed while Dean pulled each piece of his tux off before throwing it into a pile in the corner. Too drained to redress, Dean settled on sleeping in his boxers. _

"_Can we talk now?" Sam asked softly when Dean flopped onto the bed. Dean groaned, rolling away from Sam so he wouldn't see the defeat on his face. _

"_Sam, I'm really tired. Please just go to bed."_

_Dean nearly flinched when Sam curled up against his back, soft hairs tickling the space between his shoulder-blades. Warm puffs of air made their way down his back, slowly breaking down Dean's barriers. _

"_It was a trap." Dean almost wasn't sure he said it out loud until Sam tensed. "Not a supernatural one. Just a vain bitch and her popular friends getting bored with their everyday lives. They decided to have her ask me on a dare, and when I got there, she was wrapped around her supposedly 'ex-'boyfriend." _

"_Dean-" Sam shifted closer, trying to comfort his big brother without turning this into a 'chick-flick moment.' _

"_Sammy, I know I shouldn't let it get to me. I know we're leaving in a little bit. Dad called and said to be ready in a few days. It was just that-" At this point, Dean rolled over, putting his face a few inches from Sam's. "I guess it's just the fact that she went out of her way to make me feel like she actually liked me. For fuck's sake, she faked a break-up just to put this into motion!"_

"_Forget the bitch. You don't need her." __**'You've got me.' **__went unspoken, but it was there. It was always there, just like one brother was always there for the other._

"_I know, Sammy. Thanks."_

"_Welcome, De."_

_The boys snuggled down into the comforter and slept together that night, neither ready to face tomorrow._

Dean came around to find his Sammy already awake, in more ways than one. The younger Winchester straddled the older, his lips making quick work of Dean's revealed chest and abs. Dean moaned and arched into the touch, loving the way Sammy's warm lips put just the right amount of pressure on his navel.

"S-Sammy~" Dean arched his back as Sam's fingers ghosted down his stomach. Those fingers drifted back and forth before curling under the waistband of his boxers.

"Yes, Big Brother?" Dean could feel Sam smirk against his abs, causing the muscles to ripple in pleasure. "Is there something you'd like to say?"

There were many things he _wanted _to say. Just nothing he could articulate at the moment. Pretty much the only thing coming out were moans and keens he would deny to the end.

"M-More…" Dean threaded his fingers through Sam's not-so-long hair. He'd been keeping it trimmed to the shorter version since Dean told him he liked it better that way.

"More what?" Sam flicked his fingers lower. "More heat? More pressure? More touching? More tasting?"

Dean writhed as Sam licked, nipped and kissed between every question. "God~… More! More everything!"

"Are you sure?"

"Sammy! Please!" Dean's fingers tightened, pulling Sam's hair with just the right amount of pressure. "Please, Baby Boy. I need- You gotta- Fuck~"

Dean's thought process shut down as, in one movement, Sam yanked down Dean's boxers and swallowed him whole. The moan Dean let loose would make any porn star blush. Dean writhed as Sam used all his skill to lick, hum, and suck his way to an orgasm. A lubed finger pushing to the hilt in his clenched hole was the final straw. Sam swallowed all Dean had to give, and Dean flopped back down to the mattress, a quivering pile of tanned muscle.

Sam's fingers never stopped though. Yes, fingers. Sometime during the mind-blowing climax, one finger had become two, two then becoming three.

Dean felt his arousal pool again, his body only slightly protesting the lack of recovery time. Sam slinked his way back up Dean's body, placing kisses here and there, before matching lips with his brother.

"Sammy, ready." Dean pushed Sam back just enough to talk, then crashed their lips back together. "Please, Sammy. Need you."

"Good. Need you too, De. Always." Sam pulled back and grabbed for the abandoned lube. He let his head fall back a bit as he fucked his hand a couple times. The sight- his Sammy momentarily lost in pleasure, head thrown back, soft moan falling from kiss-reddened lips- nearly had Dean coming for the second time. Instead, he used his strength to his advantage. Before Sam knew what had happened, Dean had wrapped his legs around Sam's waist and reversed their positions.

Sam landed on his back with an 'oomph' and looked up to see Dean smirk before grasping Sam's dick himself. Sam's eyes rolled up into his head but quickly righted themselves when they realized the show they were going to get. Dean positioned his entrance right above Sam and closed his eyes as he pushed the head through the first ring of muscle.

Never one for patience, Dean proceeded to impale himself until Sam was balls deep. Sam's hips snapped up involuntarily, pulling a moan from both participants. Sam's hands flew to Dean's hips, fingers digging in hard enough to bruise. One hard snap of his hips, and Dean threw his head back, mouth a silent 'o' of pleasure. That one little spot was always so easy for Sam to find.

They didn't last long, too wrapped up in each other. Dean bounced faster, and soon both boys were screaming out their release. Sam went to lift Dean off him, but Dean made a small whimper and clung to Sam. Instead he laid down, his head on Sam's chest and Sam's softening length inside him, come slowly leaking down his leg.

"I love you."

Dean's heart fluttered at that. He never got tired of hearing it. "I love you too, Sammy. So much."


	2. Chapter 2

**kyu: Okay guys. Chapter two! I actually really like writing this story. Sam and Dean are such an easy couple to write for. I know I said I was working on a Jensen/Jared story, but that got put on hold when I got the idea for this! **

**Disclaimer: As I noticed I forgot it in the first one, I do not own Sam, Dean, or any other part of the Supernatural universe.**

"… _she couldn't even see that I- Dean, are you listening?"_

_Dean snapped his attention back to… Rachel? Rhonda? Ranae! "Sorry. I don't know where my head's at tonight."_

_Ranae looked like she was still going to hold her anger, but then Dean kicked on his smile, and she melted in her miniskirt. "Look. I know you're worried about your brother, but I promise my cousin and his friends are actually nice and normal- for total geeks anyway."_

"_I get that. It's just… I'm all Sam's got. Dad's never really around, so I watch him. He's MY responsibility."_

"_So why do you leave him alone so much?" Dean's eyes snapped up at the absolute hatred in her voice._

"_W-What?"_

"_You know what I mean, Dean. You're always leaving him and flinging yourself at the first available hussy. I'm not the first, nor will I be the last." _

_Dean's world twisted, the diner booth he had been in fading to black, just like the rest of the diner. Ranae was now standing while he kneeled on what moments before had been shiny linoleum._

_Ranae began walking around him in a circle, slowly tightening it._ _"Do you really think he can ignore it? The way you bolt out the door at the first sign of freedom? You're his world, and you just keep leaving. Always leaving."_

_Suddenly, Ranae's face was no longer Ranae's but Becky's, his failed prom date. "And yet, no matter what, he's always there for you when you need him."_

_Another circle and another face. This time, Sara, one of a set of twins he had doubled with. "You leave him, shattering him, his poor little heart, and yet when you come crawling back, he always picks up the pieces, stitching you back together. And he never complains, no matter how much it hurts."_

_Dean covered his ears, clenching his eyes shut. "STOP! Stop it! You don't know anything about us!"_

"_Oh but we do, Dean. We know all about your sick little fascination with Sammy. His pretty little face and his tight little body." Candi this time, a cheerleader from some hick town._

"_NO! I don't-"_

"_Know what we're talking about?" A brunette he'd never learned the name of from an impromptu back alley date. "Of course you do! You've been after him for years!"_

"_I never touched Sammy!"_

"_Oh, but you've thought about it- dreamt about it!" Susan, a little nerdy chick he'd felt up in a school closet. "All those nights you've been woken up by the relief brought on by a phantom lover. Wishing it was his fingers along your ribs-"_

"_HIS mouth going down on you!" Barbara, another cheerleader he'd fought off an older boyfriend for and then gotten an amazing blowjob in return from._

"_No! I would never- I can't! He's my- My baby. My baby brother. Go! Go away!"_

"_Will your feelings for him go away?" Lina, a spoiled brat who got everything until Dean came along and denied her. When Dean didn't answer, she sneered. "I thought not. Pervert."_

_Dean curled in on himself as one girl turned to many, all shouting slurs and accusations at him._

"DEAN!" Sam's voice was muffled by the bathroom door, but Dean heard it none the less. He flinched from his spot on the tub floor and wrapped his arms tighter around his legs. The water had long gone cold, but he barely felt it anymore.

He heard Sam mumble, "All right. That's it." And that was all the warning he had before the door was kicked in. He kept his head down, but he still felt Sam come towards him and open the curtain. Sam hissed at how cold the water was, then again at the blue tint to Dean's skin.

"What are you doing?!" He snapped, twisting both knobs off before grabbing a towel and trying to wrap it around Dean. He tried not to let it hurt when Dean flinched again, but he couldn't completely shake it. Ignoring it, he pulled Dean out of the tub and began vigorously drying him off, trying to rub the circulation back into flow.

"You're freezing, De! What were you thinking?"

Dean made no move to help nor hinder. He just stood and let Sam dry him then lead him to the bedroom to be dressed and put under the covers. Sam slipped in next to him, gathering Dean close and rubbing his arms. He leaned in and kissed Dean's temple, wishing it didn't cause Dean to inhale sharply. After almost twenty minutes of awkward silence, Sam took the plunge.

"Why were you in there so long, Dean?" He only became more confused when Dean mumbled something about feeling dirty. "What do you mean?"

It took another ten minutes of coaxing and patience before Dean would say anything. "I- I had another dream."

"Okay?" Sam kept his voice neutral. His brow furrowed further and further as Dean explained his dream. "So… You dreamt about a bunch of girls you've never met telling you lies about leaving me alone as a kid?"

Dean's eyes went wide, but he kept his mouth shut. "Dean, baby, you're under a lot of stress with your shop and everything. I think you need to take a couple days off and just relax. The cars will be there when you get back. Stay home with me and Lucas. We can take a trip or just hang out here and watch movies or something. Sound good?"

As if on cue, sniffling and tiny footsteps could be heard coming from the hallway. The door pushed open, and a little boy of no more than five came in, a stuffed dog hanging from the hand that wasn't rubbing his eye. Sam kept one arm around Dean but opened the other to the boy, who silently accepted the invitation and crawled his way across the king-sized bed.

Lucas placed himself between his daddies but curled towards Dean, his little fingers pulling at Dean's shirt. Dean's arms went around his little boy, and when he snuggled close to lay his head on his shoulder, Dean rubbed his cheek against the soft brown hair. Dean thought for a second, then looked at Sam.

"I think I'll take you up on that offer. I think all I need is a Disney movie marathon from a pillow fort." Sam smiled at him and nodded. He leaned over and shut off the lamp, snuggling back in and pulling the covers up over them.

**kyu: Sorry it's so short, but the breaks don't make any sense if I go any farther into it! I'll update soon though. I promise!**


	3. Chapter 3

_Lucas was sprawled out on his stomach, coloring while his daddies cuddled on the couch, the movie playing just for the hell of it, since none were actually watching. Dean was too wrapped up in how perfect he felt. His baby boy, the love of his life, the child they had created, all tucked away in a cute little two story they were on their way to owning. _

"_I love you." Sam's voice brought a warm tingle to his chest._

"_I never get tired of hearing you say that." Dean wrapped his arm tighter around Sam, his nose burying itself in the curls at the nape of his neck._

"_Good. Cuz I never get tired of saying it."_

"_Daddy, look!" Lucas trotted up, his latest masterpiece on display. Dean let go of Sam to take the picture, heart melting at the sight of three stick figures, a house, and trees, all under a smiling sun._

_Dean opened his mouth to tell Lucas how wonderful it was, when suddenly a splitting pain shot through him. His hands clenched uncontrollably, crinkling the paper. Lucas cried out in anguish, and Sam put a hand on his back to steady him._

"_Are you okay, Dean?"_

"Dean!"

_Dean fell to the floor, not even feeling the hardwood come up to meet him. He felt Sam roll him over, and then Sam's concerned face came into view. His vision blurred a bit as another wave of pain hit him. The ceiling behind Sam wavered and changed to a funny grey color._

"_Dean, this really isn't funny anymore. You're scaring me."_

"Focus, Dean. Come on, man! Please!" Sam was slapping his cheek gently, trying to get a reaction.

_Then, as the ceiling turned back to white, Sam decided to switch to rubbing his cheek instead, hoping the softer approach would work. "Baby, please wake up. Please."_

"Wake up, Dean. WAKE UP!"

Dean came to in a familiar bed, hard mattress, tacky wallpaper, and the distinct scent of old paper and dust. He tried to sit up, but just couldn't find the strength. Sam was right there for him, easily slipping an arm around him, the other bringing a glass of water to his lips.

"Take it easy. You were under for about a week, man. No idea how messed up you actually are."

Dean gulped half the glass, then pushed it away. "S-Sammy?"

"Yeah, Dean. I'm right here. We got you back."

"Back from where?"

Sam moved pillows and propped Dean against them so he could scoot back out and talk to him face to face. "Another warehouse full of Djinn."

"As in multiple?"

"Yeah. Six of 'em." Sam looked towards the bedroom door, thinking about Bobby asleep on the couch. "Bobby had to call in several favors to get enough manpower, but they were all pretty willing to help when we told them how many people were being kept and experimented on."

"What?" Dean's vision blurred a bit, but he blinked and solved that problem. Now if he could only stop the ache in his chest. "They weren't just feeding? And why were they together? They're not pack monsters."

"I know. They had a common interest though: prolonging the life of their captives." Sam brushed a hand through his bangs, pushing the too-long hair back again. "They banded together and started testing, seeing if they could change their venom or the size of the dose. As far as we could tell from their notes, they were pretty successful. They got it to where they could feed off one person for up to two weeks. The only downside was that it was easier for the victim to remember flashes of real life. Kinda like you did the first go around, only more flashbacky instead of just an off feeling."

"The memories showed up like dreams." Dean managed to choke out. Sam asked for more, but Dean tried to keep as much of the dream to himself as he could, telling Sam that they were 'living the good life, no demons, no nothing.' Sam seemed to take this as an acceptable statement and left Dean to his own devices to cook dinner.

Not even five minutes later, Dean shuffled into the kitchen, going to the table and watching Sam putter around. Sam was waiting for him to complain about what he was fixing- a salad with grilled chicken- and how long it was taking. He said nothing though, just sat quietly, watching every move Sam made.

When he was finished, he went to the porch to call Bobby, who was out working on an old Mustang, to dinner. When he came back in, he stopped, surprised to see Dean had set the table for three. He had placed the giant salad in the middle with a bottle of beer at each spot. Sam smiled and set the apple pie he had bought in the oven to warm.

"Thanks for the help, Dean. You didn't have to do that." Sam pulled out a chair and slipped into it.

Dean shrugged as he cracked his beer. "Habit, I guess."

Sam's hand froze on the way to his own beer, a shocked look on his face. "We never eat at the table. And we hardly eat anything that requires a plate."

Dean kept his eyes on his plate. "Yeah, I know, but I was under for a week in your time. It was… years, my time. And since we weren't moving around, I got used to plates and stuff."

"Oh," Sam really had nothing to say to that, and thankfully, Bobby came in at that moment.

"Well, glad to see Sleeping Beauty has awakened." Bobby headed to the sink to scrub up, then took the last seat, cracking open his beer. "How ya feelin', boy?"

"I'm fine, Bobby. Not dead, so that's a bonus, right?" Dean smiled, but Sam noticed it didn't seem quite right. He wisely said nothing.

Dinner was a quiet affair, Bobby and Sam catching Dean up on what had happened to him. He had been captured by the Djinn during a completely different hunt. They had been trying to corner some vampires. They had split up, Dean going East, Sam going West, and then things went blurry for Dean. He had gone right past a Djinn hunting ground, and they had decided he looked strong enough to survive quite a while.

Sam and Bobby had taken so long to find him, because they had formed a pack, setting up several different pick up and drop points. They had a total of six buildings all over the city. Of course, with their luck, Dean was in the last one they checked, the biggest building with the most guards.

They moved to the living room, had a couple more beers, then decided to call it a night. Dean may have been dreaming for the last week, but he was far from rested. A nice hot shower and fresh clothes, and Dean was ready to pass out. Except he wasn't.

Sam went through his nightly routine and was surprised when he came in to find Dean still sitting up, staring blankly at the wall. "You okay, dude?"

Dean snapped out of whatever world he was in and looked at Sam. Sam noticed Dean's shoulders tensed and his eyes widened before he shut everything out and looked right back to the wall.

"Yeah. I'm good. Just thinking." Dean was intensely aware of Sam's every move. He had to stiffen every muscle to keep from watching as his brother- his freaking brother- drop his towel and pull on his boxers and sleep pants. He was frustrated and yet excited that Sam didn't wear a shirt to bed, it being slightly stuffy in the room.

That was when Dean realized they were sleeping at Bobby's. Which meant they were sharing a bed. A queen-sized bed they had shared since they were kids. They used to be able to keep themselves away from each other since they were small and the bed was huge. Now they were huge, and the bed was still the same. This was NOT going to be fun.

"_You can do this, Dean. Just keep yourself under control. It'll all be okay." _Dean kept repeating this to himself. He had to keep himself to… himself. Sam was not his anymore. Had never BEEN his! It was all in his head. His sick, twisted, messed up head.


	4. Chapter 4

_**kyu: Hey guys! Sorry I haven't updated in forever. I had a couple things here and there that took me away from my laptop. But here's the next chapter! Nothing wincesty in here though! Just a little bit of angst. Next chapter will begin some hard times for Dean though...**_

_**Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural or their characters. God how I wish I could though!**_

Sam woke to… nothing. No soft snores, no deep breathing, no Dean kicking his legs back onto his side. Sam sat up and panicked for a second, thinking Dean was gone again, that he had just dreamed finding his big brother and finally bringing him back where he belonged.

Then he realized that the covers next to him were just as ruffled as his and that they were still giving off a bit of heat. Sam got up and slipped quietly down the stairs. After a quick search of the kitchen, study, and living room, he slipped out the back door where he found Dean curled up in a porch chair, his head resting on his knees.

"Dean?"

Dean's head snapped up, his eyes wide at being caught out of bed. "Sammy? What are you doing up? You should be asleep."

Sam rubbed his eye. "I could say the same about you. Why are you out here? I would think you'd be happier in the warm bed."

"I… I couldn't sleep. Been doing too much sleeping lately. Too much dreaming." Dean rested his chin on his kneecap, his arms still wrapped around both. "Guess it all caught up to me."

"Is it me and my long legs again? Would you rather I sleep on the couch?" Sam sat in the other chair, tucking his cold feet up under him.

Dean closed his eyes at the thought of those long legs tangled together with his, wrapped around his waist, sprawled across his lap on the couch. The nostalgia that hit him- the want that punched him in the gut- was so strong he almost pressed a hand to the offended area.

"N-No, Sammy. It's just me. Just trying to get used to this."

"To what?" Sam tilted his head like a puppy, big brown eyes adding to the picture. "This is real. This is what you're used to."

"No, Sammy. This was different from the first time." Dean glanced at Sam, but he found it easier when he didn't have to see those eyes. "The first time felt wrong from the beginning. I remembered everything and just didn't care for a while that stuff was weird."

Sam nodded for him to continue when he paused.

"This time I had no recollection of anything from this life. I had a completely different life. I had memories. Of everything. From childhood on. It felt like years in there, Sammy. Then suddenly, I was getting dreams." Dean shifted, lowering his legs into an Indian-style position and wrapping his arms around himself, trying to get comfort from a hug he barely felt. "Nightmares that would wake me from a dead sleep, shaking in fear and self-hatred. And then I would get told that it wasn't real. That there was no way I had acted like that. That there was no way I would abandon my little brother to go get laid every chance I got."

"Dean…" Sam was shocked. This wasn't what he and Bobby were expecting. The last time, Dean had righted himself in a couple hours. This didn't look like it would be so easily shaken off.

"It's okay, Sammy. I'll fix it. I'll get it right eventually. There's no need to worry." Dean smiled up at him, but it was that smile that didn't reach his eyes.

"You keep calling me Sammy." Dean blinked at the realization. "It's all you've called me since you woke up. Normally, you only use it to annoy me or when you're feeling especially chick-flicky."

"I- I'm sorry." Dean's eyes widened, and his cheeks reddened in embarrassment. "I just… Habit again, I guess."

"I'm guessing we were friendlier in this version than in the last?" Sam chuckled and stood, stretching his long arms.

Dean's mouth went dry as he watched those abs flex, those biceps curl. He had to look away quickly to avoid being caught. Instead he mumbled, "You can say that again…"

_**SDSDSDSDSDSD**_

The boys stayed at Bobby's for two more nights, then deemed Dean travel-ready again. They packed their meager possessions and headed out after many goodbyes with the old man. Dean stopped at the car and just stared. "Oh, Baby, I missed you."

"You didn't have the Impala in your dream? The car you love more than life itself wasn't in your deepest desire?" Sam was gobsmacked.

"Wasn't exactly safe for Lucas. Couldn't put his car seat in it either." Dean muttered, not completely paying attention to Sam's widening eyes as he ran his hands along his baby's roof.

"Lucas? You- Dean, the infamous bachelor- had a kid?" Sam picked up his bag from the ground, where he had dropped it in his shock.

Dean froze, his hand retracting like it had been burned. "I- Yeah. H-He was gonna be six in a week."

Sam snapped his mouth shut at the utter _hurt _that rang in his Dean's voice as his brother slipped into the driver's seat. He rubbed at the pang in his chest at the thought of his brother having an apple-pie life. Without him.

The drive from Sioux Falls to Fort Collins, Colorado was a long one. Ten hours in the car was too much for Dean after having not been in a car for more than an hour in his dream. They stopped in Alliance, Nebraska for the night, Dean getting cramped and cranky after several hours. Sam waited in the car while Dean went to check them in.

"They didn't have any doubles left. Only queens and kings. I got us a king, cuz I figure the more room the better." Dean shifted back and forth on his feet, looking slightly guilty and anxious.

Sam smiled up at him. "It's fine, man. We've been sharing for the last few nights anyway. What's one more?"

Dean seemed to brighten a little at that, but he was still a bit on edge. "Y-Yeah. I guess."

They reparked the Impala and grabbed their bags, shuffling into a room tastefully done in blue and greens with a subtle leaf pattern on the brown trim. Sam was impressed. "Wow. This is actually… nice. Nothing like we usually get."

"I thought it would be… bad. Remember that pirate theme we had in that tiny town in Oregon?" Dean laughed at the memory.

"Oh, don't remind me. Or that poker themed one we had outside of Vegas!" Sam shuddered.

"Bleh!" Dean tossed his bag on the floor by the bed. "We've had some pretty awful places before, but that was just tacky."

"Right?" Sam gently set his bag on a chair by the window. "I'm gonna go shower, okay?"

"Care for company?" Dean froze at his slip, but Sam just played it off, thinking nothing of it.

"No thanks, Romeo. I'll do just fine on my own!" The door closed between them, and Dean dropped to the bed, his head in his hands.

"_Idiot!"_ Dean yelled at himself. _"What kind of brother asks that?! If you hadn't been such a man-whore before all this, Sam would have freaked at that!"_

He'd just have to be more careful. It couldn't be too hard to relearn his mannerisms, right? He'd survived Sam before. Had ignored all the stirrings his tall, tan body had caused. He could do it again, right?

But that was before. Before he had touched, learned. Before he knew what it felt like to go to sleep with Sam at his back, his taste on his tongue and his seed between his thighs. Before he had woken from that sleep to go take care of their child, cradling a mini-Sam and rocking in a chair, singing him to sleep as his mother did for them.

This was gonna be the hardest thing he had ever done.


	5. Chapter 5

_**kyu: I feel really bad about not updating, so you guys get two in one night! Getting closer to the good stuff too!**_

_**Disclaimer: I don not own Supernatural or its characters. If I did, Jensen Ackles' PETA ad would have been the cover for several seasons!**_

It had been three weeks since he'd gotten Dean back. It had been three weeks since Dean had slept through the night. Three weeks since Sam had woken up and barely opened his eyes without Dean looking at him.

He suspected Dean was having nightmares, so Dean was always awake. And it was starting to show. Dean was also being… clingy. He was always around. He never left without a reason- usually one given to him by Sam- and Sam was noticing that Dean was almost always in the same room as him. He was quieter than before, and he didn't joke nearly as much as he used to.

Sam found himself missing Dean's laugh, his smile- hell even that damnable smirk would be welcome at this point.

_**SDSDSDSDSDSD**_

Dean was trying so hard to keep it together. But it seemed like no matter what he did, his body ignored his brain and sought Sam out. He really needed to get this figured out. Soon.

Otherwise he was going to fuck up. He wanted his little brother more than anything. He wanted to roll over in bed and wrap his arms around him. Wanted to spend an hour cooking dinner with him, sneaking in gropes and kisses between chopping carrots. Wanted Sam to tell him those words he'd learned to love. The ones he'd give anything to hear.

_**SDSDSDSDSDSD**_

Sam found himself awake before Dean one morning, surprised to find Dean actually asleep for once. He got up to do the usual- go to the bathroom, wash his face, brush his teeth- then padded back into the room. He decided Dean needed all the sleep he could get and went to get them some coffee to start the day.

He'd wake Dean when he got back and had a caffeinated reason for Dean not to punch him.

_**SDSDSDSDSDSD**_

Dean was so warm, floating on the remnants of a good dream. A dream where he was back in his king-sized bed with his baby and his lover. Sam had been stroking his arm, fingertips barely brushing his skin.

He rolled over and opened his eyes, loving the weight of a warm hand on his shoulder. His eyes found the hazel eyes of his brother, warm with laughter.

"Hey, Dean." Sam's voice was soft, trying to wake him slowly. "Time to get up."

Dean smiled back, wrapped his hand around the back of Sam's neck, and lifted himself up to brush his lips across Sam's. "Okay, just let me-"

Dean trailed off when he noticed the shock written on Sam's face. He blinked and realized this was the Sam of reality, not the Sam of his dreams. _Shit_.

"D-Dean, I-" Sam's sentence was cut off by Dean flying to the bathroom and slamming the door shut.

_**SDSDSDSDSDSD**_

Sam blinked. Once. Twice. His hand flew to his lips, feeling them warm up almost as much as his cheeks did. _"What the hell was that?!"_

Sam cautiously stepped over to the bathroom door. "Dean?"

He was met by the expected silence. "Dean… Please talk to me. I just want to know what's wrong. I have no idea what's been going on with you the last few days."

_**SDSDSDSDSDSD**_

Dean once again found himself curled on the floor of the bathroom, horror written across his face. He couldn't lose Sammy. Not again. He already lost him as a lover. He couldn't lose the one who loved him like a brother too!

What was he going to do? He couldn't keep doing this. He couldn't go through this again. He missed his Sammy. He just wanted things back the way they were. Why couldn't things go back to normal?!

It finally became too much for Dean. He felt the tears come. Dean knew he was a heavy crier. It was why he never allowed more than a tear or two. He started out quietly but was eventually sobbing into his knees. Then he choked and began coughing. But he couldn't stop. Dean barely made it to the toilet to throw up whatever was left of last night's takeout.

_**SDSDSDSDSDSD**_

Sam fell silent after his words went unanswered. He leaned his forehead against the door and prepared for a long wait. What he wasn't prepared for was the sniffling on the other side of the door. Or for the sniffling to turn to sobbing.

He started talking again and quietly knocking on the door. When all that went unanswered, he almost gave up. But then he heard Dean violently retching, and his brain shut off.

He stepped back and swiftly kicked the flimsy door in. After regaining his balance, he rushed in and found his brother hunched over the toilet, losing what little he'd managed to force into him. He fell to his knees by the other man, not saying anything, just rubbing slow circles on his back, trying to ease the pain. When Dean's stomach had nothing left to give, not even bile, Sam rose and got a wet washcloth to wipe off his face.

He pulled Dean to him, Dean's back to his chest, Sam's back to the wall. He slowly wiped his brother's face clean before chucking the washcloth into the sink. Sam wrapped his arms around Dean's waist and leaned his chin on Dean's shoulder, Dean's head mimicking him and falling back onto Sam's shoulder.

They sat like that for almost an hour before he decided they needed to talk. "Dean?"

Dean made some grunting noise that Sam took as a 'yeah?'

"What's going on with you? I've been trying to let you get back to being… you, but it's taking way longer than it did last time." Dean stiffened in his arms, but he didn't say anything, so Sam just pushed on. "And I know it's a lot to ask, but I just want to help. But to do that, you gotta break your rules and let me in. I have to be able to know what happened if we're gonna fix this."

Dean mumbled something Sam couldn't quite catch. "What?"

"YOU!" Dean burst out, suddenly full of adrenaline. "You happened, Sammy. We grew up together the same way, but it changed when we hit a certain age. We grew together, and when you went to leave for college, I did what I never had the courage to actually do."

Dean's shoulders slumped as he took a deep breath. "I asked you not to go."

Sam opened his mouth several times, but nothing would come out.

"And when you said you couldn't stay, that you couldn't take being around Dad or not knowing if I was coming home from a hunt or not, I went with you." Dean rubbed the back of his neck. "We got an apartment and set everything up. I changed my last name so nothing could connect us to Dad, and we told everyone we were long-time childhood friends."

"Dean, I'm not following…" Sam watched as his brother pulled himself off the floor and began to pace, but the bathroom was too small for that, and Sam soon found himself following Dean into the bedroom.

"I got a job at an auto shop, and you were doing great with your classes. During your second year, you got a part-time job at a coffee shop down the street. We were… We were good, Sammy. We had friends, a nice place to stay, and we were close. Somewhere along the line, close became closer. And then we suddenly couldn't stop ourselves."

"You mean we- But how did we- I just don't…" Sam couldn't believe it. Dean was freaking out because somehow his doped up brain put him in a weird sex dream?

"It honestly wasn't pretty, but I wouldn't trade it for the world. You got scared when we kissed. You ran out and were gone for almost two weeks. When you came back, you acted like nothing happened. I lost it one night and made you tell me where you'd been." Dean sighed and leaned against the wall. "Apparently, you'd freaked and gone on a binge. You were partying every night and sleeping with whichever girl caught your fancy- which you assured me wasn't many. Then you realized that all the girls you found looked the same: shorter hair, sharper features, and bright green eyes."

"So I freaked and then found substitutes for you?" Sam sounded baffled.

Dean shrugged. "I guess. Anyway, you came back, and we talked. I told you I didn't care. Didn't care that you were my brother, only meant that I'd love you more and understand all the components that made you who you were. I didn't care that you weren't the apple pie life you'd always wanted for me, the wife and two kids, steady job and a house." Here Dean breathed and looked up. "I just wanted you."

Silence spread, but Dean continued. "You and I- We were perfect after that. Made it official, told all our friends, even Dad and Bobby. Then Ariel showed up."

"Ariel? Don't tell me you left me for a Little Mermaid wannabe." Sam scoffed.

"Actually, Ariel came for you." Dean smirked a bit when Sam had the decency to look ashamed. "She had been one of your flings. You knocked her up, and she tracked you down."

"I what?!" Sam nearly flew off the bed, seemingly forgetting this had all been a dream.

"She was about six months along and wanted help. Not money or a place to stay. She just didn't want the kid." Dean's voice tightened here. "Didn't want anything to do with him. Said she'd follow any and all rules you set. We let her stay with us. You had moved all your stuff into my room anyway."

Dean wandered to the kitchenette and busied his hands with making coffee. "She had a boy. We did a paternity test, but it wasn't really necessary. He had your hair, your smile, and your big brown eyes. You named him Lucas and had her sign over all her rights to him. He was honestly the best thing that could've happened to us."

Sam watched Dean's hands clench the side of the sink. The muscles in his jaw worked for a minute before he said anything else. "Ariel moved back to wherever she'd come from, and we moved on. It was hilarious watching you learn how to deal with a baby, and I loved every second of it."

Sam snorted, "Like you'd be so much better."

"Hey! Who do you think raised you?! Dad really wasn't much help!" Dean smirked, then remembered the situation and straightened from the counter. "Anyway, we… We were happy. I moved up at the auto shop, you finished your law school and got a job at a small firm, and Lucas grew. And learned. God, that boy had your brains."

Sam found himself wishing he could've been a part of this dream. This wonderful dream where he and his brother were safe and Dean was happy. Truly happy and not worried about demons and dying. He watched as Dean fixed himself a cup of black coffee, then a cup for Sam with just the right amount of cream and sugar.

Dean crossed the room to hand Sam his coffee and was surprised when Sam took it, then wrapped his other hand around Dean's wrist. Sam leaned over and set the cup on the bedside table, then stood and slipped his free hand around the back of Dean's neck. "Sammy?"

"Sorry. Bear with me."

Dean felt himself blush as Sam looked over his face, taking in every feature and freckle. His eyes went wide, then clamped shut when Sam leaned in and softly brushed their lips together. Dean jerked away, spilling his coffee as he stumbled back.

"N-no, Sammy. Don't! I'll fix this, I swear! I just have to-" Sam yanked Dean back to him, one hand around his wrist lifted to shoulder level, the other slipping around his waist, putting them flush against each other.

"Hush, Dean. Let me try this. And then maybe you won't have to 'fix' anything." Before Dean could protest, Sam again pressed his lips to his brother's. A litany of _wrongnobadBROTHER_ ran through Dean's head, but then Sam's tongue snuck out to run along the seam of Dean's lips, and his brain shut down. He could feel Sam smirk against his lips as he let out a whimper of pure need.

Sam broke away from the kiss, but he continued to pepper Dean's jaw with soft kisses, slowly moving up until he could nuzzle behind Dean's ear.

"Sammy," Dean's voice was barely a whisper.

"No. Don't tell me to stop. Not when I can see it's all you want." Sam nipped at his earlobe, and Dean's knees almost buckled.

"I won't lie. I've thought about it before." Dean's eyes flew open in shock. "When I was a kid, I wanted you. Wanted you so bad it hurt. But you never looked at me like that. So I ignored it. Pushed it down where I wouldn't think about it." Sam nudged Dean's cheek with his chin. "Why do you think I was so hesitant to go with you to find Dad? I was so scared it would all come back."

"No, Sammy. Don't." Dean shook his head. "Don't do this unless you're sure."

Sam rolled his eyes when Dean closed his eyes and turned his face down. He decided a different tactic was needed. But you know what they said about desperate times.

Dean's heart sank a little when Sam stepped back. But he had known it was coming. Sam wasn't meant to be with him.

_**kyu: Side note! I noticed that when I went to upload things, it took out my breaks since they were asterisks. So I changed them. Maybe that'll make the breaks more pronounced... Sorry!**_


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